He was resigned to the fact of his own murder only because he knew that his mother would be spared his fate. He thought about the last time he’d seen her.

“I was afraid for you, Adi, and I was not strong enough to disobey,” she said.

“You have ruined my life, Mutti,” he said.

“It was to save your life,” she said.

“I hate you,” he said and walked out of their home.

After months of successful missions and staying one step ahead of the enemy, he thought he’d have time to take back those words, but his capture made that impossible now.

There was a commotion outside the stripping room.

Raised voices. Screams. Gunshots.

The guards scurried out to see what was going on. The men left behind began talking quietly.

Eliezer looked at his father’s naked body and the naked bodies of the men around him. He was too young to know to be embarrassed for himself or them, but he did realize it was the first time he’d ever seen another person naked. The man next to him didn’t look like any of the other men. Eliezer tugged his father’s hand.

“He is a gypsy,” Eliezer said in a loud whisper.

“Nein,” the man replied and smiled as he looked down at the curious child. Eliezer looked up in fear and astonishment. This strange-looking man spoke his language.

“Apologies,” Eliezer’s father said. “He is at that age.”

“I am used to it. Children usually do not know how to take me,” the man said and chuckled.

“I am Abdiel,” Eliezer’s father said, extending his hand.

“I am Adolf,” replied the man, taking Abdiel’s extended hand.

“Like the Fürher,” Eliezer said quietly.

“Elie,” Abdiel said, putting his palm on Eliezer’s head. “My son.”

Adolf extended his hand toward the child who reached for it without taking his eyes off Adolf’s face. It was a dusky brown, much darker than a person with a tan.

“What are you?” Eliezer said and quickly covered his mouth. He hadn’t meant to express his thought out loud.

“Elie!” Abdiel’s face flushed crimson.

“It is no problem, Abdiel,” Adolf said and chuckled again. He looked at Eliezer and said, “I am German.”

“You do not look German,” Eliezer said.

“My mother is German. My father was French, but I have lived in Germany all my life.”

“French,” Abdiel repeated, not able to control his own curiosity. So he is one of those Germans, Abdiel thought to himself.

“Yes. My father was a French soldier of Senegalese descent. He was killed in the Great War.”

“Ah,” Abdiel replied knowingly. He had heard of the half-black children left by the blacks from the conquering armies. This was his first time seeing one in person, though.

“How did you come to be here? I read that the Nazis did not persecute the blacks,” Abdiel said, piggy-backing on Elie’s curiosity to satisfy his own.

“I fought with the partisans,” Adolf said.

Abdiel looked at Adolf for long seconds and then asked, “Why join the partisans when you did not have to worry like us Jews?”

“The Nazis killed my children,” Adolf said, his voice thick with emotion, and his mind traveled back in time to the conversation with his mother and he shared the memory with Abdiel and Eliezer.

“She is lying, Adi,” Mutti said.

“Mutti, you never liked her, but she is not lying. She is having my baby. Yes, it was a mistake. We should have been more careful, but it is happening, Mutti. We are getting married, so you must learn to accept her,” I said.

“I know she is lying,” Mutti said.

I looked at Mutti and asked, “Are you saying she has been unfaithful to me?”

“Yes.”

“How can you know that, Mutti?”

“Because you cannot make babies, Adi.”

“What nonsense are you talking, Mutti? Of course I can make babies. She is pregnant. That is the proof,” I said.

“When they took you that night three years ago, Adi. Do you remember?”

“Yes, I remember.”

“The only way they would agree to give you back is if I agreed to have you sterilized.”

“You said it was a vaccination against common diseases.”

“I could not tell you then. You seemed too young to understand.”

“You let them do that to me.”

“I was afraid for you, Adi, and I was not strong enough to disobey,” Mutti said.

“What is sterilized?” Eliezer’s soft voice startled the men. They’d forgotten about him.

“Enough questions, son. Let us leave Adolf alone,” Abdiel said, patting Eliezer on the head.

“It is okay, Abdiel. Please call me Adi.” Looking down at Eliezer Adi said, “It means that I cannot have children.”

Abdiel again took advantage of Eliezer’s curiosity.

“Why would they do this?” Abdiel was stunned to know the rumors were true. It was around 1937 that he’d heard rumblings about such a sterilization program, but most people thought it was for the Jews and other people thought it wasn’t real.

“The Nazis did not persecute black children because they believed it would distress our German mothers, but they did not want us, the Rheinlandbastard as they call us, creating more mischlings; mixed-breed children. Some mothers got forged documents showing that they had taken their children for sterilization and some others simply did not go. My mother’s fear overrode her instinct to protect me. I joined the partisans shortly after learning about my … learning the truth,” Adolf said.

Abdiel looked down at Eliezer with great sadness in his eyes and said, “Maybe it was a blessing, Adi.”

Adolf also looked at Eliezer who was still staring up at him, and Adolf understood what Abdiel was trying to say.

“QUIET, YOU FILTHY DOGS! INTO THE SHOWERS! TAKE YOUR SOAP,” the lead guard yelled as he returned to the room. The other returning guards yelled and beat the men toward the adjoining room where shower heads hung from the ceiling.

Holding on to his father’s hand, Elie extended his other hand to Adolf, and the three crowded into the room together.

When every man was inside the room, the lead guard shut the door with a loud bang, and the occupants heard the door lock and seal.

The men were so tightly packed in that it was hard for them to breathe. Reaching down for Eliezer, Adolf picked him up and the child exhaled loudly. Adolf then put his arm around Abdiel and pulled him close. Eliezer put his arm around the back of his father’s neck and was surprised to feel him shaking.

“It will be okay, Papa. We will have a shower and then go find mother and Chaya,” Eliezer said and smiled at Abdiel. Eliezer looked at Adolf and asked, “Right, Adi?”

Adolf squeezed Abdiel’s shoulder trying to help the man hold back his tears.

Fighting down his own rising panic, Adolf looked at Eliezer and smiled, “It will all be over soon, little one.”

Like the hundred or so other men at the point of no return, Abdiel, Eliezer and Adolf looked up silently at the shower heads.

Copyright © Faydra D. Fields. All rights reserved.

— To learn more about blacks in Nazi Germany, read Hitler’s Black Victims by Clarence Lusane and Destined to Witness: Growing Up Black in Nazi Germany by Hans Massaquoi.